Korra/Tahno/Chicken Biscuits, A Fanfiction.

Korra heals Tahno through the magic of chicken biscuits.

(So I made this ridiculous thing I’m sorry no regrets.)

Pairings: Tah(n)orra,
            explicit Tahno/Chicken Biscuits
            implied Korra/Chicken Biscuits

Korra wandered without any fixed plan, happily being the leaf. The streets of Republic City were quiet in this area, Naga’s paws thudding against the ground the only noise. She’d wanted to give Mako and Asami some time alone together while they adjusted to Air Temple Island, thus deciding to explore without destroying anything or beating anyone up: a sight-seeing trip.

Riding down a new road, the loud noise of her stomach gurgling cut across the quiet street. “Oh, canyon crawlers,” she said crossly. She’d forgotten to get breakfast before she’d gone out. Glancing around, she detected the delicious smell of chicken, and followed her nose. Moments later, Korra emerged with a bag of the oddest things she’d ever seen in her life—chicken biscuits. She’d tried one and had had to buy them. For once, she actually had money on her (Tenzin had begun on insisting, getting irritable reports from shop-keepers in the city) and there had been enough for four. Korra happily stuffed one into her mouth, riding along through the streets of Republic City and rejoicing in the delicious deliciousness.

She reached the park in no time at all and went looking for a nice spot to eat. To her surprise, Tahno sat on one of the benches, looking absolutely dejected and all alone. His hair lacked its usual snappy, flowing pizzazz and he wore no eyeliner at all, a worrying sign. Korra noted his sad appearance, frowned, and went to check on him. “Hey,” she said, standing there awkwardly. “How are you doing?” He looked up, and she saw to her shock that he was nearly crying.

"It’s 11:00, Korra," he said, tears in his ice blue eyes. "I missed fast food breakfast."

He put his head in his hands, lank hair flopping over to the very ground in sorrow. Korra watched for a moment, feeling weird about this. She wasn’t very good with really sad people, and Tahno was an especially weird case because he used to be a sleazy douchebag. Then she remembered! Holding up the greasy bag, she nodded to herself. Yes, yes, it would be perfect.

 "I have just the thing," she said cheerily, and she produced one intact, delectable chicken biscuit. As she lifted it, it caught the sun, glinting merrily and deliciously like a piece of chicken that had been produced from a heavenly bag to help a sort-of-friend in need. Tahno moaned at the very sight of its gloriousness, overcome. Then his face fell again, and he put a hand on his stomach.

"I need to watch my waist now I can’t… now I can’t bend anymore, Korra.” Tears of trauma welled up once more in his gorgeous glacier azure eyes and he turned his head to the side, hands against his poor, overflowing saucily light aqua eyes. “I can’t eat that. Even though… it… looks… so good…” He watched the chicken biscuit for a minute as Korra held it up, wiggling it from side to side to make it look more tempting. She waved it in small circles, watching his gaze follow the food-stuff like a hypnotised puppy. She wiggled it closer to his face, and Tahno groaned, his resolve wavering. It couldn’t hurt just to have one… Disregarding the danger of an expanding waistline, Tahno dug his teeth into the buttery bread, revelling in the chickeny delight. Korra smiled at having done a good deed for the day and kept watching, just to make sure he ate it all.

Tahno’s long fingers held the chicken biscuit ever so delicately, twisting and turning over it to hold it firmly in place. His white, white teeth sank into it again and again, rising and falling like beautiful rising and falling teeth that had been cleaned very thoroughly. His stunning sort of turquoise eyes closed, he murmured meaningless nothings of joy underneath his breath in between bites. Languorously, his pink tongue emerged, licking around his lips. Korra stared, not sure about the warmth starting up in her belly. That was probably just happiness at having done something good. She was sure. Yup. That was it.

He moaned, long and low, leaning forward as if unable to help it, caressing the chicken biscuit lovingly. “It’s so good,” he growled, his voice hoarse and rasping. Trembling, he licked around the edges, taking in crumbs and savouring them, making rumbling noises of appreciation. Korra blinked and coughed awkwardly, looking over towards some bushes. Uncontrollably, her gaze returned to Tahno. He was… kind of writhing now, undulating and shivering, down to a small portion of the chicken biscuit. Delicately, he took increasingly small bites, nipping with such elegance that Korra moaned, overwhelmed. She felt faint. Like maybe she’d swoon. Swooning seemed imminent.

"Korra, you were right all along," he said, husky, licking each finger languidly, slowly from top to bottom. “You… know what’s good for me better than I do. Forget my private lessons… maybe you could teach me a thing or two.” Without warning, he stood up, shooting to his full height. She looked up, rubbing at the back of her neck gracelessly.

“Um, it’s okay,” she said, and coughed again. She still felt uncomfortably hot, and for some reason Tahno licking his fingers kept replaying in her head. Maybe it was starting to heat up. The sun was really up in the sky now. Yep, that must be it. He placed his hands on her shoulders and she jumped, looking about. “Uh, Tahno?” she asked. His face was rather close to hers. Maybe a few inches in between them. Oh dear.

"Starting today, the wolfbats are no more,” he whispered.

"From now on, I’m a chickenbat. And," he added, a beatific smile on his face, patting her on the shoulder gratefully, “Korra, I’m your chickenbat.” Korra wasn’t sure whether to swoon, punch him, or scream. She did neither of those things, realising what she had wanted all along.

“Oh, Tahno,” she said quietly, dropping the bag of chicken biscuits as if they were nothing. “Tahno!”

And then they kissed lots and it was boiling volcano the sun hot like Tahno on chicken biscuit action and the glory of chicken-biscuits brought them together

P.S. the end


THE CONTENT THAT INSPIRED THIS RIDICULOUSNESS, SATURDAY’S TAHORRA PARTY

wherehaveallthecowboysgone: A chicken biscuit?

bespectacledsquid: a…chicken biscuit?

wherehaveallthecowboysgone: Like a biscuit made of chicken, or just chicken flavoured?

bespectacledsquid: is it just a chicken with biscuit on it?

bespectacledsquid: Wait

bespectacledsquid: I mean biscuit with chicken on it

winninghearts: but I don’t need it, I feel weird about patronizing Chik-Fil-A, and I am too lazy to go

winninghearts: biscuit with chicken in it

winninghearts: from Chik-Fil-A

winninghearts: they’re amazing

winninghearts: sadly

wherehaveallthecowboysgone: I have learned something today

artisticallyarrogantantihero: you guys stop talking about food!

winninghearts: they’re butteryand delicious

wherehaveallthecowboysgone: Food is a worthy topic

bespectacledsquid: sometimes chicken biscuits are just as entertaining as tahno sex riots

wherehaveallthecowboysgone: I bet Tahno likes food

wherehaveallthecowboysgone: Is Tahno a chicken biscuit person?

bespectacledsquid: I hope so.

artisticallyarrogantantihero: He’d probably want to watch his figure.

bespectacledsquid: I think this calls for a fanfic.

wherehaveallthecowboysgone: Would he just be perplexed by the concept, or embrace it?

winninghearts: ia

wherehaveallthecowboysgone: Can we communally write a fanfic?

winninghearts: they’re not good for his trim physique

bespectacledsquid: Tahno runs his fingers through his fringe, staring hungrily at the delectable sandwich

winninghearts: “Would you like some waffle fries, too?” “GO FOR IT.”

wherehaveallthecowboysgone: So are we going with sandwiches or chicken biscuits?

artisticallyarrogantantihero: It taunts him with its greasyness

bespectacledsquid: A chicken biscuit is a sandwich right?

bespectacledsquid: I was just trying to find a pretentious synonym

wherehaveallthecowboysgone: Maybe Korra shows up and tempts him with a chicken biscuit

winninghearts: it’s a  biscuit

winninghearts: not really a sandwich

winninghearts: idk

winninghearts: a breakfast sandwich

wherehaveallthecowboysgone: Korra arrived to check on him, and noted his sad appearance

wherehaveallthecowboysgone: “I have just the thing,” she said cheerily

wherehaveallthecowboysgone: And she produced from her pocket one intact, delectable chicken biscuit

winninghearts: “It’s 11:00, Korra,” he said, tears in his ice blue eyes. “I missed fast food breakfast.”

bespectacledsquid: Tahno moaned at the sight of it, wishing to fill his mouth full of buttery deliciousness

wherehaveallthecowboysgone: “I need to watch my waist now I can’t… now I can’t bend any more”

wherehaveallthecowboysgone: “I cannot have the chicken biscuit”

winninghearts: trust tahorrans to turn chicken biscuits into bending angst

wherehaveallthecowboysgone: look this is Very Dramatic okay

wherehaveallthecowboysgone: We are talking about Tahno’s pain

bespectacledsquid: and chicken biscuits.

wherehaveallthecowboysgone: yes

delanceyland: Tahno’s pain in our pain.

wherehaveallthecowboysgone: both of those things

bespectacledsquid: Tahno’s lack of chicken is our pain

wherehaveallthecowboysgone: Wait so how does it end?

wherehaveallthecowboysgone: Does he take the biscuit?

bespectacledsquid: Does he take a bite?

delanceyland: The suspense!

bespectacledsquid: Disregarding the danger of an expanding waistline

bespectacledsquid: Tahno digs his teeth into the buttery bread

bespectacledsquid: reveling in the chickeny delight

wherehaveallthecowboysgone: He moans into the delicious chicken-biscuit combo

wherehaveallthecowboysgone: “It’s so gooood”

wherehaveallthecowboysgone: “Oh Korra you were right all along”

bespectacledsquid: “Starting today, the wolfbats are no more”

bespectacledsquid: “We are the chickenbats.”

wherehaveallthecowboysgone: And then they kissed and the glory of chicken-biscuits brought them together the end

(I realised after a conversation with my mum that part of my trouble understanding the chicken biscuit was that I’m English and a biscuit is a different thing over here. Nearly a week later, I discover the truth. Americans… I just… why?)

  1. greenliandakes reblogged this from wherehaveallthecowboysgone and added:
    Your confusion at the end was gold. "Americans… I just… why?” Yeah, we don’t know why either. And/or we just don’t care....
  2. orviski reblogged this from wherehaveallthecowboysgone
  3. moonbeam-seas reblogged this from wherehaveallthecowboysgone and added:
    “It’s 11:00, Korra,” he said, tears in his ice blue eyes. “I missed fast food breakfast.”
  4. eneko-wweh reblogged this from wherehaveallthecowboysgone
  5. feelbender reblogged this from wherehaveallthecowboysgone and added:
    ^ THIS. FUCKING THIS. THIS IS WHY WE HAVE THE FUNNEST SHIP IN THE FANDOM. I just read chicken biscuit smut. I mean.. I...
  6. obscene-waffle reblogged this from wherehaveallthecowboysgone
  7. intentionalderpface reblogged this from wherehaveallthecowboysgone
  8. kurootetsurouvevo reblogged this from fuckyeahtahorra
  9. moondogstray reblogged this from wherehaveallthecowboysgone
  10. fuckyeahtahorra reblogged this from wherehaveallthecowboysgone
  11. beretania reblogged this from wherehaveallthecowboysgone and added:
    I HAVE PISSED MYSELF LAUGHING DEAR GOD WHAT IS AIR And this is why Tahnorra shippers are the best there are.
  12. stormbender reblogged this from 1-800-bloodymermaid
  13. 1-800-bloodymermaid reblogged this from wherehaveallthecowboysgone and added:
    i love you so much
  14. wherehaveallthecowboysgone posted this
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